Every year I think I'm in the clear
I think I've outgrown the weakness the seasonal meekness
The sad result of this genetic default
Making eyes red and raw and my nose a fucking faucet
Spring has sprung yes and I'm a believer
In the beauty of new growth and the hell of hay fever
Take the potential of enjoying new nature
And trade it away into a pocket full of wet balled up toilet paper
In between sneezing reality rings true
Confronted with the fact that Mother Nature hates you
How dare she?!? That's what I ask
How dare she let me suffer after all I've done for her
Action groups, preservation societies
Who wants to save what they can't enjoy?
Cause while you're pitching your camp stall I'll be itching my eyeballs
Enjoying your lawn? I'll be downstairs with the fan and the humidifier on
Get down airborne bastard
I've tried them all Hydrasense Clariton Allegra Benedril Chloro-Tripilon
I've tried homeopathy giving up dairy
Please! These aren't remedies
I'd rather choke on my own snot than live a live without cheese
I don't even know what it is
Is it the pollen or the grass or the dust or the popular fluff falling?
I'm only happy when the rest of you blests are complaining
Yah I'm a downright smug son of a bitch when it raining
I'm tired of the pity or being bemoaned
I'm tired of people asking if I'm sick or if I'm stoned
Get down airborne bastard
I know it's not that simple there's a deeper reason
For the depth in our suffering the growing season
The world is reborn the flower the birds
It's all a humiliating twist of the knife
With the under the nose chafing the itching the aching
It's like you're allergic to life!
So think of us that's all I'm saying
When you're in the outside world inhaling
Think of the thousands pale and exhausted
Huddled around empty Kleenex boxes
And trust we are plotting revenge without limit
On the air that you breathe and all the shit in it