Now I believe in lookin'
Like my time on earth is cookin'
Whether polka-dotted, striped or even checked
With some glamour guaranteein'
Every fiber of my bein'
Is displayed to quite remarkable effect
From your cradle via trousseau
To your death bed you're on view so
Never compromise, accept no substitute
I would rather wear a barrel
Than conservative apparel
Because a dress has always been my strongest suit
Stayin' in or hitting townwards
From the top and working downwards
I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time
Whether wig or hat or turban
Whether clog, boudoir or urban
Not to strut your stuff outrageously's a crime
And the few who are invited
To my wardrobe are delighted
As they wander through my things to find a route
That in negligee or formal
I am anything but normal
Because a dress has always been my strongest suit
Now you don't need a recital
Of the reasons why its vital
That tonight my drapings will not be subdued
That from coronet to sandal
No one else is worth a candle
That I couldn't make more impact in the nude
So bring me all my finest
Most audacious, my divinest
Most revealing, most expensive and to boot
Most arresting, most heart-stopping
Most free-flowing, most eye-popping
Because a dress has always been my strongest suit