I know a cat by the name of Maurice.
He's all the time runnin' from the police.
Every time you see him, he's up to some old dirty trick,
and he's got the nerve to think he's slick,
but he ain't. He messes up every time.
To tell you the truth, the dude can't even do wrong right.
Maurice took a notion to rip off the house down the street.
Heard they had a whole lot of real good weed.
He snuck around back and made it in the house okay, and he
located the stash and he rolled up a jay.
He got high and hungry, wanted somethin' to eat.
Went in the kitchen and ate up every damn thing he could see.
But, man, between the food and the weed,
he lay down on the couch and he went to sleep.
He got caught in the middle of the night.
Oh, ain't it a shame? The dude can't even do wrong right.
Got him a new car, went out to celebrate.
Got hung up at the bar and started runnin' late.
Jumped back in his car and started to roll.
Said, "Hundred miles an hour! Woo! Look at me go!"
Thought he had everything under control.
I'm talkin' Highway Patrol.
He got caught in the middle of the night.
Oh, Lord have mercy! The dude can't even do wrong right.
Maurice was a dog, tryin' to cheat on his wife.
He said, "I believe I'll get me somethin' on the side."
Found him a woman, way across town.
He said, "I'll be real cool this time and keep it on the low down."
Thought he had her fooled; he was doin' all right,
but what goes on in the dark will surely come to light.
He got caught in the middle of the night
Ah, what did I tell ya? The dude can't even do wrong right.
No, can't do wrong right.