If I had just one wish, I'd feed the starving children,
with something bland at first like rice, so they can hold it down
Soon they'd develop a tolerance
for western culture
and they'd be demanding happy meals with gender appropriate toys
But if you give a man a fish, he eats for just one day,
but if you teach that man to fish, he eats for a lifetime
But fishing is just a metaphor; there are many ways to find food:
Like farming, and hunting, that's it!
Hunting...
Arm the children,
Give them guns
Believe me; they'll eat one way or another
In Africa they could shoot gazelles
In Chicago they could rob a 7/11 for a microwave burrito,
and let's be honest, stolen burrito just tastes better
than the kind you buy with cash; those are for suckers...
(guitar solo)
If I had a second wish I'd take all the animals off the endangered species list
so we could eat them
I know it sounds insane, but hear me out:
A chicken's not endangered and neither is a cow,
coincidence? Perhaps
But I don't think so
If a 'whopper' was made with whale meat, we'd be growing them for food
If we change the way we order at our favourite restaurants
"I'll have a manatee supreme and a Hooters hot spotted-owl wings"
Arm the children, eat the whales
It's the only way mankind will survive
Would you rather feel like the French and live on snails?
I don't mean to be dramatic but I'll rather gauge my eyes out with a spoon
I have a third wish; Nuke the French,
With their hairy backs and five-o-clock shadow and those are just the women
They never bathe or wash their filthy hair
Let's arm those hungry, pissed off kids and send them there
la la la la
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
Everybody sing
La la la la
Oh yeah
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
(Help us treat the little babies?)
la la la la
Oh you, oh you've got to
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
Kill the French,
Kill the French,
Kill the French
la la la la
They've been begging for it
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
Nuke the French