Bo Burnham - Lower Your Expectations (If You Want Love) Lyrics

We all want love
How many single ladies out there looking for love tonight?
(Whoo) Yeah, 'whoo' that sadness away
Some more where that came from
Ladies, I know what you want (want, want)

You want a gay that's sweet, a guy that's tough
A feminist who likes to pay for stuff
The kind of guy who gets along with your friends
Without being attracted to any of them
A good boy, a bad boy, a good, bad boy
A half-good, half-bad, half-boy
Loves your brother
Sensitive but not weak and is a good lover
Calls your mother on the weekend

You might think this guy only exists in your mind
Guess what? You're right

If you want love
Then lower your expectations a few
Because Prince Charming would never settle for you
If you want love
Just pick a guy and love him
And if he's got a thing for feet, say
"Fuck it, sweep me off them!"

Now, the good thing is that
At least men have very realistic expectations of women
He said, sarcastically setting up a second verse in a comedy song

You want a girl that's nice
A girl that's not obsessed with her looks, but is insanely hot
The kind of girl that you can show to your folks
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes
A real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl
A brand new really hot real doll
Wants to impress you
Doesn't care if you notice
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with

You might think this girl only exists in your mind
Well, she's real
But last week, she died

If you want love
Lower your expectations a lot
You might think your dick's a gift, I promise it's not
If you want love
Just pick a girl and love her
And then whip out your dick
And let the girl you love decline the offer

I don't want a neat freak, I don't want a slob
Somebody with bedhead and a dead end job
'Cause I won't settle for less than perfect
We want perfect children, a perfect life
A perfect husband or a perfect wife
But deep down we know, we don't deserve it

But, we all deserve love
Even on the days when we aren't our best
'Cause we all suck
But love can make us suck less

We all deserve love
Love is the best part of being alive
And I would know, I just turned twenty-five
(That's young)