The Adventures of Duane and BrandO - Mario II Lyrics
Story: When Mario opened a door after climbing a long stair in his dream, another world spread before him and he heard a voice call for help to be freed from a spell.
After awakening, Mario went into a cave nearby and to his surprise he saw exactly what he saw in his dream.
Push start.
I'm back in this bitch, throwin' turnips and shit.
This ain't no 'Doki Doki Panic', deal with it.
It's Super Mario, in the motherfuckin' house.
Gonna blast the sunglasses off that bomb-throwin' mouse.
Yo Mario, don't confuse me with John Leguizamo.
He didn't have a mustache, but at least he got the hos. (Like in 'To Wong Foo'.)
I like 'The Pest', and I really really liked the Clown from 'Spawn'.
But when they cast him as Luigi, baby, that was just wrong. (Yeah that was just wrong. Wrong.)
The Princess is my character of choice. (Come on!)
But my balls are too big for me to rap in that voice, and so I jump really high.
Take a jog in the sky. Hit the Pow Block, throw a fuckin' bird in your eye.
Anyway, we're on a mission to kill King Wart.
I heard a call for help... in my dream of course, and I woke up and saw the cave I seen in my sleep.
That's what I get for counting sheep. (Let's go!)
I'm in a cave now, tearin' this place down.
With these bombs that I pulled out of the ground.
L-L-Luigi's in the cave too, that is the truth.
P-Pullin' bombs out the ground like dentists pullin' out my tooth.
R-R-Representin' in this cave, bringin' down the r-roof. (Kaboom!)
(I don't know anyone who plays as Toad!)
Now I'm leavin' the cave, it's time to get on my way!
Headin' to the Birdo to save the day!
Defeated Fry Guy, Triclyde and Clawgrip, bitch.
As I entered the Bird Head I clench my fist...
I am a motherfuckin' Birdo, look at my face!
I spit eggs motherfuck, straight into your face!
I'm so hardcore, I rhyme face with face!
I rhymed face four times, now get outta my face!
Am I an Ostro or a Birdo? Nobody knows!
I eat orbs for breakfast. No milk, mofo!
The inside of me glows; you suck and I blow.
Don't throw those back, I'll shoot fire up your nose!
How the fuck you gonna try and burn my 'stache, paisano?
You're tryin' to make me look like John Leguizamo?
Have some unfertilized dinosaur, ho!
Take that shit Hermaphrosaurus rex! Do the Mario!
(Swing your arms from side to side!) Oh wait you can't, that's right!
"You Red-Bowed Weirdo; boy birds don't lay eggs!" I say as I throw the last one in your face!
King Wart, pulin' life support!
I see you made it past all of my cohorts.
Get ready for my bubbles! Hold it right there!
Now it's time to turn this dream into a scary nightmare!
Beware! I bet you're scared!
I declare despair; not one life spared!
Well leapin' lasagna! You mean I'm dreamin' right now?!
I thought it was real. Either way you're goin' down!
I was wonderin' why the Princess wasn't taken this time!
Eat your fuckin' vegetables, it's time to die...