We're gonna drink enough tonight to drown the average army
By New Year's Day the next door neighbour will be goin' barmy (yep,
that's how it's spelled)
The milkman arrives at midday with his usual wisecrack
Who knows a girl with Wednesday legs so when's they gonna snap?
Chorus:
Why does everybody have to be so hale and hearty
Can't they see we're tryin' to have a party party party party
The last thing I remember I was talkin' to some fellas
Then she said she'd have a word for me with her good-looking mate
And handed me a pint-pot filled with Advocaat and Tizer
And I woke up in the flowerbed fearing fertilizer
(I would have thought "feeling fertilizer" would make more sense, but
maybe that's just me and my strange sense of humour!)
Chorus
Bridge:
So shift yourself and shake your bod
You got bullet proof insurance from fire, flood and Act of God
You got to learn from your mistakes
When you got a face like last week's Cornflakes
The doors and the window frames are by Pablo Picasso
The party decorations owned by Michelangelo
The fine music that you hear is by Stravinsky
with overall design by Leonardo daVinci
Chorus
Bridge:
So shift yourself and shake your bod
You got bullet proof insurance from fire, flood and Act of God
You got to learn from your mistakes
When you got a face like last week's Cornflakes
Two boys are upstairs in your bed
Three girls are downstairs cryin'
The Alka Seltzer in the glass is roarin' like a lion
You think you've aged 10 years tonight and still never been kissed
So you overdose on aftershave and try to slash your wrist