You were in the passenger seat
When you had asked me if Ive done hardcore drugs
A part of me thinks that if I told you yes
Maybe I wouldve earned your love
So if thats the case then everything Im about to tell you is true
It all started with a little sip of beer
Then another, then another til I couldnt see clear
So I smoked cigarettes and moved on to cigars
I decided my teeth are bad enough as they are
I wanted to lighten up so I drank hard liquor
Then what do you know I started looking even sicker
Weed and mushrooms might as well be my brothers
My drug dealer might as well be my own mother
Momma Im in love
That is just why I do drugs
If she wants a train wreck here I am
Going off the rails just to be her man
Yes I scour for heroine as if Im a vulture
Im not a rebel at all
I conform to my culture
So I took a lot of speed and Tylenol
On my way down from ecstasy I collapsed at the mall
Some jerk called an ambulance because he thought I was dead
The paramedics even put me in the ICU bed
Woke up and snorted cocaine
It went to my brain
Pink elephant told me Henry you are going insane.
Mr. Elephant Im in love
That is just why I do drugs
If she wants a train wreck here I am
Going off the rails just to be her man
Yeah and LSD is cool
But then I did codine
I gotta tell you nothings better than a slow motion spleen
They say Crystal method, it will kill you.
Well I did it twice so now I know it aint true
Ahhh oh no no no no no no oh no no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Crack is whack
Thats not true its your friend
Quality time me and my crack pipe like to spend
On my acid trip you know I really couldve used a kiss
Abraham Lincoln had two heads and he was looking pretty pissed
Mr. President please
Mr. President Im in love
That is just why I do drugs
If she wants a train wreck here I am
Im not even gonna go to a 12 step program
Cause oh I love her so
Choo choo like Ralph Wiggum I choose you
Choo choo I hope that you choose me too
Choo choo Ill make you boohoo
Cause you know Ill love drugs more than you
But of course, if youre not attracted to boys that do drugs
Then I just want you to know that I dont do drugs
Or better yet, its you that changed me
And as of three hours ago I am completely clean and sober
And its all because of you.