Filet Mignon, by candlelight
Near the fireplace so late at night
Soft music in the back and the record don't skip
Gonna serve you like a waiter but I don't want a tip
You're so beautiful in every way
I'm just surprised that you don't have more to say
But wait what's that noise? It's like a whistle, it's weak
No, it can't be true, my girlfriend has a leak
My inflatable love
My inflatable love
You're my inflatable love, made in Japan
With a mouth wide enough to hold a soda can
Made of the finest latex, girl you'll never grow old
And I'll never have to worry about birth control
But there's something wrong, I can't believe you got a hole
I gotta find it and fix it before our dinner gets cold
'Cause I don't want to miss this chance to know you
I'm gonna get my duct tape you'll feel as good as new
Please tell me where the hole is, before it's too late
I'm in love with you girl, I don't want you to deflate
Ah, here it is I found it on your leg by the ingraving
I'll just make it so you look like you cut yourself shaving
Now I'll blow you back up, right back to normal size
You don't have to say thank you, I can see it in your eyes
I've been waiting all my life for a girl like you, Ingrid
Someone the stork didn't bring, but UPS did
My inflatable love
You're so perfect for me, in everything that you do
And now I know that I wanna spend my life with you
We can grow old together till we both look like prunes
Let's run away and get married and raise some little balloons
And girl I know you'll never even think of other men
Is there someone outside? I heard that noise again
Then someone barged in, he looked as mad as could be
And her inflatable husband beat the crap out of me