I got this email in my inbox early one Monday morning
Asking me if I was free and available for performing
When I saw where I could barely contain my glee
“The Isle of Wight Festival”? I was like “Yes please”
We get our set time and it’s 4:45
But 2 hours before is when we’re told to arrive
According to Satnav it’s a 3hr drive
So if we leave at 9, everything should be fine
But yo, tragedy occurred from the moment we left
The traffic was a mess and every single light was red
Now we’re stuck behind a learner moving at a slow pace
If he doesn’t move soon I’ma commit road rage
But finally we get to the port all hot and sweaty
With 2 minutes to go to get on board our ferry
But it’s at that point we realise our mistake
We’re at the wrong one and ours is 3 miles away
That’s when I get on the phone to the organisers
And I’m like “Guys, we’re still our way
But there’s been a delay
So whatever you do, please just”
Hold On – I’m coming
So now we’re racing across town to reach the other port
Our tickets have expired so we’ve had to buy some more
But I don’t even care we just need to get there quickly
Coz if we miss our set neither of us will forgive me
The next ferry isn’t until twenty to 4
Which gives us just over an hour till we need to perform
The journey itself is only 20 minutes in duration
It’s cutting it pretty fine, but we might just make it
The car park is in a shopping centre that’s adjacent
But it’s Saturday so naturally every space is taken
We dump the car and now we’re struggling to find our way round
I look at Cal who’s on the verge of nervous breakdown
It’s no wonder that we can’t find our destination
I mean, who puts a port inside a train station?!
But finally we find it and we get on the boat
We’re not home free but I refuse to give up hope
That’s when Cal’s like “How are we getting there once we arrive?”
And I’m like “What do you mean?”
He’s like “You do know the whole island isn’t a festival yeah?”
And I’m like uhh yeah?
Hold On – I’m coming
20 minutes later and we’re on the other side
Time is really of the essence coz we’re on in 45
We try to grab a taxi but there isn’t one in sight
Kind of ironic really for a place that’s called ‘Ryde’
Eventually we get one and we chuck our stuff in it
And the driver says the journey’s about 25 minutes
I’m staring at the clock now watching the seconds ticking
Our set’s in half an hour, please God don’t let us miss it
He drops us off outside and we run to get our wristbands
Then try to find our stage coz we ain’t got time for chit chat
But the crowd is thick with people partying and drinking
And everybody that we ask tells us something different
We get there at 4:44 on the dot
– Praying that we haven’t missed our slot
We find the stage manager who’s the one in charge and has the power
Who says “Nah, you boys aren’t on for another hour”
That’s when me and Cal look at each other…
And to be honest, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry
But you know what?
It doesn’t matter man
Coz either way…
We made it!