MC Paul Barman - MTV Get Off the Air, Part 2 Songtexte

A little goon
in a locker room
rat-tails the octaroon
He'll be drinking vodka soon
and his big brothers are frat guys
whose IQs lose to their fitted baseball hat size
Smirkin' jocks with hackysacks
in Birkenstocks and khaki slacks
I'm the hypest lyricist
while they're like, "What type of beer is this?"
The liquid is ubiquitous
and has such a hold
on all the strata, it's just got to be
government-controlled
Behind the bottle and the throne
sits an unknown man wiser
and bigger for the liquor store
the number one franchiser
Perhaps George Bush and his sons
are relatives of Anheiser

I wanted to get in a pooper hole one day
so I invited girls over on Super Bowl Sunday
only one showed up: Princess Superstar


Thanks for inviting me over
let me look around the bed post
(bad dill folds?) back to back black dildos
nice kit kudos
pass the cool ranch doritos
I love nachos
put on Fat Joe
naw, that really sucks, let's put on the Beatles
Yo, let's check the half time show
I hope it's Michael Jackson
singin Satisfaction with Hanson
or Luther Vandross in a sparkling costume
with big pants dancin
or maybe I saw that in a Bud Light commercial
speakin' of which, give this bitch
a drink quick to wet my lips
you got enough cheddar lyin' around this place to
fix
up my tits
as if I need it...


Conchetta please!
If you see any chedda'
it's chedda cheese
I'm easily great
I don't need to be in some sort of Ken Kesey state
to create something you can appreciate

Who are you talkin to?
Makin you draw conclusions
and superficial distinctions make you go sacreu bleu


I can speak French too
suck my nuh-nuh
french my cunt
comprande voux?
Look Pepe Le Pieux
let's cut to the (de nu-mon?)
you wanna fuck me, I wanna fuck you
so it's on.


Can I chime in?
I'll still be rhymin'
when I'm in your hymen
I radiate like it was '88
and I'm searching for my lady mate
I'm a hunter-gatherer
a cunter-latherer
My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice
granny's panties moist

I do the new when the tried and true fails
plus I'm lookin' fly in my sky blue tails
Now peel off your tube top
so I can feel your boobs flop on my lubed cock
socks up to your calf like a chick from the (craff?)
I wanna put on a serated condom and saw you in half


My knees are weak, I need knee-pads
you fuck me blind, I can't see, dag!
run me a hot bath add the epsom salt
soak my lower half in your Mortal Kombat cocktail sauce
let me head south
put it in my mouth
cause I like the taste.


When I burst in your face
I'll invade your personal space


I'm like Chase, stick your card in and out
Thanks see, look how much stacks of cream are coming out


I removed her sanitary napkin with my teeth
and there was a planetary backspin underneath
I faced her wound
Let's do a pap smear with a taster spoon
you can sleep on the guest cot
I'll sleep in the wet spot

(Singing)
I'll be your boyfriend
Smooch on your pooper hole
all through the Super Bowl
your man doesn't even miss you
glued to the boob tube, watchya gonna do dude?

I woke up sticky
and quickly applied a temporary tattoo to a hickey
went to salt and shake her awake
with orange juice, a straw, and coffee cake
after we had a bite,
we pushed the canoe in the lake

You don't paddle right
Look, a shooting star!
It's a fuckin satellite
Lady, one more complaint
and I'll shove a rape-whistle up the Mrs. Va-J-J
(starts whistling)


What'd you say?!?!
Listen Slim Shay-day
tell Dre he better fuckin pay may (me)
(starts laughing)


Your talents are bite-size
it's no suprise you rhyme with white guys
I jumped in the water
what did I want a girlfriend for?
Just like you, you jizz on your floor.
I don't want sweet potatoes anymore
I didn't even leave her an oar
did a medium crawl stroke back to shore

Who's next to flirt with this exhausting extrovert?
I parted some (palm frawns?)
Guess who left me dry long johns
Uncle Ralph McDaniels
He said "what's up Paul Nathaniel Barman
let's get MTV off the air I deserve my own channel."