I'm parked in front of this clinic
Been waiting for 40 minutes
The girl that I'm with is in it
And recently been admitted
I play it cool but I'm sick to my stomach knowing we did it
Sometimes I just wish she hadn't, though I never admit it
I get a text from my dude, telling me to come and kick it
I'm passing time as I rhyme from the driver's side of her Civic
Or maybe it was a Sentra, honestly don't remember
What I do is the guilt and religion says I'm a sinner
So how do I keep revealing agony that I'm feeling
Trying to keep my composure, she's walking out of the building
Told her I was a chauffeur, anyways I'd be willing
To take her along at six thirty I got some dealing
And I know she thinks I'm weak
And she's sucking in her teeth
Like how can you leave me now when you promised to stay and sleep?
And I feel like I'm a thief because I'm overwhelmed with this grief
I've stolen her innocence and sold it back to her cheap
And I feel disgust too
That it can be us two
It's happily ever after, that chapter is just through
And I'm chilling with my partners, we looking for what's new
That's when I finally realized that men can be sluts too
And there's no way to divert it
I know my soul is perverted
I pollinated this flower
Then ripped it out of the surface
Over watered the roots and the truth as I need some purpose
Lord knows I'm not perfect
So where do we go?
Don't wait for me now
Don't wait for me now
I know she's worth it
But I ain't perfect, no
So don't wait for me now because I'll never be perfect
And I've been a liar, I've been a cheater
I'd rather sleep with a stranger than be a man and leave her
I'd rather sleep with the shame than not appease her
Plus I know she's easily pleased so I'd rather mislead her
We exorcising our demons
And it's like our break-ups and make-ups becoming seamless
And I say I love her sometimes but do I mean it?
And it's like we're only together out of convenience
And I remember my mother was always teaching me
Said every time I f*** a girl I lose another piece of me
Especially in this industry women come at you frequently
You gonna have to prove you're better than what you seem to be
And I said I'd listen
But I feel like something's missing
And I thought that my admission to guilt was my petition
Even though they say its wrong, we feel it's the right decision
How do we raise child in these f***ed up conditions?
And we can barely eat or sleep still
I try to comfort her, tell her we need to keep still
She said a part of you had grown inside of me
Now that part is dead so how do you think that makes me feel?
I guess I feel responsible
I guess this really is more than just some obstacle
But if you still can't forgive me than it's worthless
Lord knows I'm not perfect
Sneaking up her mama's stairs
Trying to avoid her mama's stares
And I'm thinking like does her mama care?
Then I realize the procedure her and her mama shared
Drama stares you in the face and that could sever time
I had to sacrifice us so I could better mine
Then I asked you what was wrong, you told me nevermind
And right then I realized that it was never mine