Ladies and gentlemen, be seated
Mister Bones, Mister Bones
How do you feel, Mister Bones?
Rattlin'!
Mister Bones feels rattlin'!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, that's a good one
Tell a little story, Mister Bones
Tell a little story, Mister Bones
How can you keep an angry dog from biting you on Monday?
That joke is old, the answer is to kill the dog on Sunday
That's not the way to keep a dog from biting you on Monday
How would you bring the thing about?
Have the doggie's teeth pulled out!
Oh, Mister Bones, that's terrible!
Yes, Mister Bones, that's terrible!
And now we'll hear the ballad singer's pet
A song we'll ne'er forget
By the barnyard quartette
Yes, my darling, you shall be, shall be
Always young and fair to me
That's a song that never will grow old
"Silver threads among the gold"
Mister Interloc'ter
What is wrong with you?
I know of a doctor
Tell about him, do
Sad to say, one day he fell
Right into a great big well
That's too bad
It serves him right
Why speak in such a tone?
He should have attended to the sick
And let the well alone
That's a joke that was told
By the minstrel men we miss
When Georgie Primrose used to sing
And dance to a song like this: