IVY
Okay, I won't ask when
But I'm free tonight, just so you know
PETER
Where were you last night?
I waited up...
JASON
I crashed at Ivy's
PETER
Oh really?
SISTER CHANTELLE
Ok, people, let's get amateur night started.
Peter you have been staring at me all day.
Now, I love you to pieces, honey, but I'm off the market.
Places for the fight scene!
MATT
Romeo the love I bear thee can't afford
No better term than this, thou art a villain
JASON
Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee
Doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting
Villain I am none, farewell
I see thou knowst me not
PETER
Calm dishonorable, vile submission
JASON
Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up
SISTER CHANTELLE
Ivy, run the next scene- oh, and Nadia, an answer to your question.
At no point does the nurse slap Juliet.
NADIA
Alack the day, he's gone, he's killed, he's dead
IVY
Can heaven be so envious? Hath Romeo slain himself?
JASON
Courage, man, the hurt can not be much
PETER
Why the devil came you between us?
I was slain under your arm
NADIA
Shame come to Romeo
IVY
Blistered be thy tongue for such a wish
IVY
He was not born to shame
JASON
I thought for all the best
IVY
Oh what a beast was I to chide at him
NADIA
I just really think there's a slap there...
MATT
Alive in triumph, and Mercutio slain
MATT
Faggot!
JASON
What'd you call me?
SISTER CHANTELLE
Hey you two! Where do you think you are? Public school? Everybody out!
PETER
What was that about?
JASON
I don't know...
PETER
Well, listen, I had the craziest dream or- vision last night!
I saw the virgin Mary and she was black, and she had these...angels who were her backup singers.
And anyway, she told that I needed to tell my mother about us, so- what are you doing for spring break?
JASON
Right... let's go. We're gonna be late for class.
PETER
Jason, stop, listen to me.
JASON
What? You're kidding, right?
PETER
No. I need to tell her, I need her to know.
And I need you there when I do it.
JASON
Yeah, yeah, let's tell your mother.
So she can call my mother who'll immediately tell my dad,
and the two of them can rush down here to conference with Father.
Then, maybe, I can ask Notre Dame for a leave of absence
while I deal with a sexual identity crisis!
Or maybe...maybe my dad will just beat the shit out of me and then disown me.
Smart money says that's his first move! Sure, yeah, let's tell her, when do we leave?
PETER
Jason, I can't deal with this anymore! I mean, you're all I have, don't you get that?
And, I have to talk about it...I almost told the priest in confession the other day.
JASON
You what? Are you out of your mind?
PETER
Jason, maybe this doesn't have to be such an issue.
Look, in three months, we'll be out of here where it won't be a problem.
JASON
No, Peter, this is always gonna be a problem!