Seein' double, livin' single
night club frustrated tryin' to mingle
there's a girl dancin' over there
she's got very fascinating hair
but i can't work up the nerve to do my schpeel
with my big foot stuck in my mouth
i end up talkin' like a heel
Cuz i'm a loser, not a schmoozer
and a no luck in woman cruiser
I'm a dog without a leash, a jigsaw puzzle lookin' for a piece
i'm a kid without a toy, i am the world's forgotten boy
why can't i work up a silly nerve to talk no shit
like a square peg, stuck in a hole, i just don't fit
Cuz i'm a loser, not a schmoozer
and a no luck woman cruiser
not a wheeler or a dealer
she's on a pedestal and i'm a kneeler
i'm a loser and a boozer
i'm a loser, not a schmoozer
never ever gonna be a chooser
The prince of fools, the king of pain
it's enough to drive a poor man insane
i'm lookin' hard but i fear
another lonely night bartender gimme a beer
why do i even try, i get the same old line
she said my boyfriend's much bigg than you
i said what a waste of time
Oh my god that girl just winked at me
so i worked up my courage, feels like i'm gonna pee
i said baby, she just froze
she said did your mother dress you
where'd you get those clothes