Growing up I see my mama
There was so much drama, niggas cheating on her
Beating on her
Shove her on the ground, they put they feet up on her
And I was too small to fight
I just sit there in the corner
But if I had a gun guaranteed he would be a goner (BLAOW!)
It's safe now mama he can't hurt you no longer
You don't need a man
I'll be your man, really
Take my hand, let's go to a movie I want to see "Free Willy"
That's just wishful thinking
Wishing life was perfect
Instead I live my life wondering if living my life was worth it
Especially when she met this one nigga, such a shame
From the moment that they met I knew his ass was a lame
I just knew that he'd be gone just as fast as he came
But little did I know soon she would have his last name
Are you serious mama? This nigga?
At fourteen I could look at his eyes and tell that he was just a bitch nigga
When you was home everything was bliss mama
Soon as you left, everything was switched mama
When I finally told you, you got so pissed mama
I just want to believe you when you say you ain't know 'bout this mama
He would call me to the basement to relieve his stress
Slapping me across the face, punching me in the chest
Picking me up by my neck
Choke me against the wall
Holding me for like twenty seconds until he finally let me fall
Gasping for breath
Bleeding from my head
Face red
Feeling like I was only seconds away from being dead
Tears fall, I'm pissed off
Contemplating swinging back I got my fist balled
But my life ain't something that I wanted to risk, no
So I just take my beating
Hoping the neighbours can hear me screaming
I don't understand how an angel can fall for such a demon
What's the meaning?
Tell me what's the meaning?
Uh, black on black, black tee, pair of black jeans
With a black mask on a mission to kill his black ass
Strapped with a gat
Tucked where my nutsack at
In the back of a 'llac
With the window cracked
While I'm smoking a jack
Uh, I'm seeming relaxed but on the inside I'm screaming "attack!"
The sweet taste of revenge on my tongue
I'm fiending for that
Pull up to the crib where he live at
I'm itching to get the gun and hop up out the whip
I tell my homie keep the engine running
Now walk up I ring the bell like I'm finna sing Christmas carol
Put the gun up to the door
So he's looking right down the barrel
When he goes to check the peep-up he ain't even check to see
"What the fuck?"
"What's up motherfucker bet you wasn't expecting me!"
Turns to run so I chase him all through the halls of his place
Then he races straight to the basement
Ironic, what perfect placement
It's locked so I kicked the door down
He's cornered nowhere to go now
When finally it's 'bout to go down
Sit back and enjoy the show now
(phone rings)
"Aw fu- who the fuck is calling me right now, shit
Yo, where's my pho- Yo don't fuckin' move! I sw- I swear to god don't fuckin' move yo. Stay your little bitch ass right there yo
Fuck is my phone? Shh, shh. Didn't I - where the fuck you think you goin' dog? Get your fuckin' ass -" (slapping)
(phone stops ringing)
"Get your -" (smack)
"Yeah nigga, stay your ass right - fuck, man, you made my miss my fuckin' call dog. Shit!"
(You have two new messages)
(beep)
"Hey CJ, it's mommy. Uhm... calling you," (clears throat) "first of all, to see how you were doing, and I do hope everything is well
I saw something that I just want to uhm, get clarification on and uh..." (deep breath)
"Now I really understand there may be a deep, deep reason... uhm... why you haven't really uh... stayed in touch, I'm not sure, but hon, I just - I need you to..." (deep breath)
I need you to keep your head up, and I need you to stay focused on what it is that you are trying to do for your life. I need you to... uhm... really, really..." (deep breath)
"Don't lower yourself to anyone's expectations. Don't lower yourself to anyone's ideals about you. Don't lower yourself to people's closed minded thinking. Don't lower yourself to jealously, and don't lower yourself to hate."