(Hank Card/Conrad Deisler)
I was one tough nut until the day you made me crack
I was one tough customer until you paid me back
I was one tough cookie 'til I crumbled in your hand
Since that day I'm half a man
I drive my old nine-wheeler down I-two-and-a-half
The other truckers pity me so they try not to laugh
I pull off in Yreka and check into Motel Three
They've always got a little room for me
Chorus:
Half a man; I'm half a man
Sometimes I try to do the best I can
I know that on my own foot someday I'll have to stand
But right now I don't know how
Because I'm only half a man
I play solitaire 'til dawn with a deck of twenty-six
You might think I'm crazy but that's how I get my kicks
I listen to Rush Limbaugh 'cause he helps to ease my pain
He makes lots of sense if you're a man with half a brain
I buy a tenth of whiskey and a cold three-pack of beer
I drink 'til I see single when I gaze into my mirror
I know that through that looking glass is where I'll have to be
Reunited with the better half of me
Chorus
Someday I'll find a woman and a half and take her hand
But 'til then I don't know when
I will be more than half a man