How to lose twenty-five pounds today
How to make a million the easy way
Forty-five is the new eighteen
Read all about it in a magazine
Who's on pills,who's on booze
See who's running around on who
A picture they don't want you to see
Got it right here in a magazine
Forget everything you think you know
You don't need a mind of your own
They're gonna tell you everything you need
In the pages of a magazine
How to get a man with just one kiss
How to get a body that looks like this
Get new results with an old routine
They'll show you how in a magazine
Forget everything you think you know
You don't need a mind of your own
They're gonna tell you everything you need
In the pages of a magazine
If they put it on paper it must be true
Surely these people wouldn't lie to you
Go on, believe everything you read
Everything you read in a magazine
Everything you read in a magazine